Grace Kind

How to Think

In my opinion, there's no one "best" way to think- behaviors and patterns of thought may be more or less helpful depending on the end goals of the thinker. Therefore, instead of offering general advice on how to think, I'd like to outline a process by which you can discover how you'd like to think - a method of uncovering and refining the ways of thinking that align most directly with your personal goals and values.

This process begins by asking yourself a few questions about thinking - namely: what, when, where, why, and how. Then, you may use your answers to these questions, along with insight into your personal values, to explore areas of improvement in your thinking.

Questions About Thinking

What is thinking? What do I think about?

This is obviously a broad question, and a precise answer is not necessary. A more pertinent question may be: "what are some things that I do that I consider to be thinking?" For example:

Drawing a general boundary around what "thinking" means can be helpful in determining what it is exactly that you're talking about when you answer the next few questions. This boundary may change over time, and you will undoubtedly focus on particular subtypes of thinking in various contexts.

When do I think?

This question should help you start identifying your current thinking habits. Try to do this in a non-judgmental way. For example:

You may notice that the answers to these questions bring up certain ideas or insights. ("I really can't think straight in the morning - maybe I should fix that"). Try not to overfocus on these insights, but instead keep them as a sort of "back of the mind" consideration to be revisited later.

Where do I think?

Again, try to approach this question in a purely observational, rather than judgmental way. For example:

Similar to the previous question, these answers might prompt ideas for improvements or refinements- take note of these but don't dwell on them.

Why do I think?

There are countless possible answers to this question, so just try to enumerate a few reasons for your own thinking.

Ultimately, the question of "how to think" is entirely dependent on your reasons for thinking in the first place. Furthermore, if you realize that you're doing a lot thinking for reasons you don't like, you may aim to change that pattern, rather than simply "getting better" at thinking in an unhelpful direction.

How do I think?

This question is less about describing precisely how you think at every given moment, and more about brainstorming possible dimensions by which thinking can be characterized.

This is probably the question with the most possibility for exploration and creativity. I encourage you to try to think of as many dimensions as you can, and have fun imagining different ways of thinking and how they might apply to you.

Refining Your Thinking

After you've thought about the questions above, you can start to think about any changes you'd like to make to your thinking. In order to do this, you'll need to have a clear idea of your values and goals - what you want to achieve in life, to the extent that you can articulate it. I admit, this is a tall order, but it's necessary in providing direction for the rest of the process.

If you're not sure what your values are, here's one exercise from acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) that you can try to get a sense of them: A Quick Look at Your Values. There are many other methods you can use to determine your values, if that particular method doesn't resonate with you.

❗ I advise against optimizing your thinking without having clear insight into your values.

With your values in mind, you can start to think about how you'd like to think. In particular, ask yourself the question: "are my current ways of thinking aligned with my values, and if not, how may I change them to be more aligned?"

For example, if you value creativity, you may consider ways to be more fanciful and open-minded in your thinking. ("What types of thinking lead me to more novel ideas?") Or, if you value honesty and integrity, you may consider ways to be more critical and self-aware in your thinking. ("What thinking habits can I cultivate to minimize my biases?") If you enjoy thinking for its own sake, you may consider ways to make it more enjoyable. ("What types of daydreaming do I find most fun?") For any path you choose, a combination of self-reflection and external resources (books, people, etc.) will be helpful in making the changes you want.

Keep in mind that many changes to thinking are not actually about changing mental processes, but rather about changing your circumstances so as to spend more time doing the types of thinking you value. Simply noticing your current thinking habits, and beginning to think about how you'd like to think, is a good first step.

Notes on Self-Control and Introspection

Attempting to optimize ways of thinking can be frustrating, because your thought patterns are only partially under your control. A good metaphor for this is sleep (which itself could be considered a form of thinking, but I digress) - most people can't force themselves to fall asleep at will or to wake up from a sleeping state. However, we may change our circumstances to make it more likely that we'll sleep and wake at the times we want. Thinking is similar- some amount of it is beyond your conscious control, but you may be able to nudge it in a certain direction if you'd like.

Finally, I'd like to note that introspection is best performed in moderation. Constantly examining your own thoughts is at best a distraction, and at worst a source of anxiety. I recommend revisiting the question of "how to think" at some interval (e.g. every few months), and putting the question aside in the intervening periods.

Review

To refine your thinking, ask yourself the following questions:

Have fun, and happy thinking!


Last updated: January 20, 2025